If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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