i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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