I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
