thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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