I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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