Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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