part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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