This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
