you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
