Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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