Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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