Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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