I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
