your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
