Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you would pick up someone in the library
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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