well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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