just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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