just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
