I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize