I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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