what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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