Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
