i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize