Your mouth is God's brothel.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
