Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
