So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
