dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
the raccoons are back...
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