dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
