I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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