And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize