I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
