He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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