We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
