Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
