D3 body, D1 cock
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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