I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
