My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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