The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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