Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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