id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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