so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
