your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
