And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
where are my eyebrows?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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