yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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