Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
