I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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