11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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