just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
