Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
