im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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