yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
