...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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