I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
