Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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