there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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