i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize