well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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