You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize