Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
