Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
