Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize