We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
