Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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