I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
