Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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