her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize