where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
