There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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