my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize