You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
