the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just googled if crying burns calories
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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