you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize