Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
