We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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