just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
