I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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