I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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